Out of Sight, Out of mind

I have three beautiful children who I have yet to hear from in nearly four months. I blame myself...poor choice in their mothers...yeah, two of them. I respect my oldest daughter’s mother dearly, for she has come a long way in her life. She has remarried and the relationship seems to be a lasting one (You would think that she would leave me the f*** alone since she now has her man…yeah right). The other is a work in progress, but she is maturing as well. She too, still gets the utmost from me because of her position in life, not that she deserves it for I have custody of my younger two. Yet, my obligation to serve my country and currently being deployed overseas, however has forced me to live with the reality of my generation-children being raised in separated-parent homes.
What kills me is the mentality around this unstable situation. When I am available, my phone, email, and doorbell is constantly taking me away from doing what most fathers that love there children do...play with their kids to teach them the lessons in life. Amazing how convenient I am when they (grown women) need something. I pay for everything necessary, and yet they still want for something. They even want for something when my children are spending months and years on end with me. Guess this is my job as a provider? Naw, this us bullsh**! My father and the fathers of my childhood friends didn’t have to deal with women in this fashion. I would do whatever it takes to ensure a smile is on my children’s faces and still have presents under the tree just as the example I had growing up.
But, in return, what do I f***ing get. Not a letter, not a card, nothing from my kids to let me know that they are fine. I know they are. If they weren’t, I would be getting some Red Cross message sending me home in an emergency. “God…I am being careful what I am asking for. Please don’t let that idiot (the Devil) mess with me.” I know my kids love me. They know I love them. I even send them postcards from everywhere in the world I go to. I even send Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday cards and gifts to their mothers and other siblings. Yet, nothing in return out of respect of me being the father of their children. Good men only need recognition of good, respectable work to keep them going. Thank you NFL for recognizing our sacrifice. Wonder why we watch a lot of sports programs? While watching, however, ever wonder why ‘mothers’ only get props…”Hi Mom, love you!!!” Go figure.

This blog is not meant to disgrace the good, beautiful mothers of the world. It is meant to open your eyes to see from someone else's shoes in the same position, doing the same f**king thing.